Experiencing All

Experiencing All

It is the age of the unknown. For what we knew is no longer supporting us. Even for spiritual people, some ideas and concepts are too rigid to stay on Earth now that heaven on earth is thrusting upon us. Building protective measures, the mindset of separation will fall away. The more we ascend, the more we are grounding ourselves. The more truth you see, the more you see every single details of your physical life is indeed an immediate reflection of our thoughtforms and vibration. 

Full Moon in Sag: Freedom

Full Moon in Sag: Freedom

It started like this. I HATE THIS SYSTEM. That was the only statement I had if I had to be real honest about my feelings. I just hate the system that we are in - the education, the finance, all of it, was suffocating and killing one's self-expression. There was no space to breathe. And they knew it. They deliberately created this system so we had to be conformed, so we had to forever feel not enough. Not good enough. Forever. The verdict. Boom.

So beautiful it hurts: The beauty in all

So beautiful it hurts: The beauty in all

I was told to walk in the labyrinth. And so I started walking in circles. I was bare feet, my sole against layers of fallen leaves resting on the earth. It crunched on my every step. At first I was scared of getting my feet dirty, but it's not long when I realized that these leaves and bits and pieces of the dead parts of the forest are gently cushioning my feet. 

'Everything serves a purpose, even if you don't see it.'

Mercury Retrograde: Let's talk about Hermes

I don't usually talk about mercury retrograde. Simply because I don't believe in rules during the retrograde. All the miscommunication, technical issues, transportation delays, are but an echo of our own energy.

Mercury, in essence is all about the bridging. The bridging is special, in a sense that it comes and goes and doesn't hold onto anything. That's why Hermes is the only god permitted to go into the underworld. All because of that non-judgement. 

Language is what is bridging our being to the outer world. Our experience doesn't manifest or express until we use language to express it. But our expression and our experience are different. And often it is our expression of the experience that says more about us than the experience we had had. Like ideas, experience itself means nothing, pure air element. It is until we add logical thinking, perceptions and expression to it that it will become matter and forms. 

We create our reality, more so with language. Because what we say shows the world how we want to be presented, and that says a hell lot about ourselves. 

During this mercury retrograde we will learn to be moral-less. Morals and rules are limitations. period. If you can try to uncage the ideas without judging them, see how much freedom you allow into your space. Because morals and rules are but created by duality thinking.. 

What are morals? What are your morals? What is the definition of being wrong? Or even right? What does it mean? If you question it you will find it as difficult to be defined as God. Rights mean should, and wrongs mean shouldn'ts, but have we ever questioned what does it mean when we say we 'should' or 'shouldn't' do something? Why? For the comfort of others? Because you don't want it to happen to yourself? These do not give a definition to what right and wrong are. I remembered questioning why killing was wrong. Sure it brings sadness and pain to people, and you may not want to be killed. But why is killing wrong? Here I am not saying killing's right (quit duality thinking), so at the end of the day, what makes something wrong? And to me being wrong is not that this thing is not allowed, it is that when something is wrong, you completely annihilate its existence. And according to what standard can we approve or disapprove an existence?

Hermes can travel to anywhere, this is exactly because he doesn't have morals to judge. Delivering messages as they are is exactly what the air element is teaching us. Air alone shifts, never stays, has no direction, and this is why it can bridge between worlds. 

We understand that morals are illusions, yet we are scared to expand out of it. We are afraid when we say we question the wrongness in killing, people will think you are a murder advocate. Think even bigger, it's not an either/or, it's not even about killing. It's about why you think things are that way. When you question, you shake the system. 

People say Hermes is a trickster. Not even close. He just moves so fast nobody can catch up. What you call tricks, is swiftness. And it is exactly because he is free of perceptions that he can move freely and swiftly between ideas and messages. The bridging. The air. Air in itself has no direction. To give it a direction we call it our expression. 

So how are you choosing to express yourself? How are you experiencing the air element? And how do you choose to express your experience with the air element? Bottomline is, every bridge is true, everything you say is true, because the energy you choose to express can never lie. Whether it is close to your essence is another matter, but as long as it is expressed, it is true.

Shake your perceptions, shatter them and see what you see. Hermes is never caged. Your mind is only a prison if you want it to be. Think. And question. And question that question.

Musing for the Dark Moon

Musing for the Dark Moon

There are times when enough is enough. 
There are times when you know you're the most precious thing in your life.
There are times when you know your life is all about you and no one else.
There are times when you just don't fucking care what people think, and if they don't like anything you say they can just fuck off because you're so done with pleasing, playing small and cornering yourself with fucking insecurity.

Softness, on the quest of self-love

Self-love is a journey. And I have only truly learned about it til now. I was too caught in the sweet trap of self-love - the lifestyle I deserve, the relationships and connection that I deserve, the 'correct' way of loving myself.

I forgot that there is no correct way to loving myself. I forced myself to do things that are not in sync with my heart, yet appeared to self-love-righteous. When I ignored my heart's calling, I thought I was loving myself. Almost like belting a child that doesn't behave the way I want her to be, I forced myself and my heart into something I am not.

The fact is, I don't know how to love myself. I am still learning to love myself. I thought I was already loving myself. And the only way I am going to find out is by making these mistakes, keep trying out different ways to self-love.

And then today it hit me that the only way I can love myself is to listen to my heart. My Inner Voice. There is no correct lifestyle to show that I love myself, nor does self-love come when I am in 'correct' relationships. The only way to love myself is to listen to that insane radical voices in my heart, and attend to it.

I have been too scared to know what the voice is telling me, it was too scary to know that I can be something I don't know of. I knew the answer was in that voice. But I struggled hard to cover my ears. The most frustrating thing is that you can't run away form yourself, from your heart. And thank God for that. Thank God my heart is me, thank God I can never abandon me. 

In the fanatics of achieving self-love, I forgot that love is the absence of judgment. I kept pushing parts of me away because they aren't of love. But what part of me isn't of love? 

I am fragile at times, I am inexplicable at times, even to myself. We all need a little softness to let love in, that softness expands and embraces all that we are ready to see. In that softness of love, we embrace ourselves deeply, the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, everything. It is softness that penetrates our hearts, and it is softness that connects. 

When I built hardness around myself in the name of love, I repelled love. Only softness can penetrate that hardness and that softness comes from the courage to know the parts of me that are unknown to me. We have to have the courage to penetrate our hearts with softness to arrive at the beginning of radical self-love.

And with that kind of love, it doesn't matter anymore if i appear to love myself or not.