It started like this. I HATE THIS SYSTEM. That was the only statement I had if I had to be real honest about my feelings. I just hate the system that we are in - the education, the finance, all of it, was suffocating and killing one's self-expression. There was no space to breathe. And they knew it. They deliberately created this system so we had to be conformed, so we had to forever feel not enough. Not good enough. Forever. The verdict. Boom.
I was listening to Matt Kahn's videos extensively to balance my energy, and this whirlwind that I was trying to hide, I decided to let it out, without judgment. I HATE THIS SYSTEM!! IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! IT'S SABOTAGING EVERYONE. and when I have cursed the system long enough I realized there was something else.
I didn't hate the system. Somehow I could see how it served its purpose when I decided to acknowledge my anger. There is always something else isn't it? It didn't take me long to identify this victim consciousness of mine - how I decided to blame the system.
My Wise Soul: Do you truly believe that we create our reality?
Me: As much as I don't want to, yes.
MWS: What is freedom?
Right upon that question I was transported to the moment when I saw what freedom was - freedom is a state of being. As much as I wanted to deny, freedom was not something the environment provides, it was what I provided to myself. The Sag part of me had been envisioning a better place - always a better place for me to explore, to go to. Little did I know running away and not settling down was not freedom. It was a distraction.
MWS: Freedom is not defined. You can be doing the same thing and feel free as a bird and caged as a prisoner. It is how you feel and what you think that matters. Now, you said the system took your freedom away. Is that true?
Me: No. I created this story so I could have an excuse to not try. To not step into a new realm where I wasn't familiar. I could be in the system and feel free as a bird.
MWS: If you truly believe you create your reality - it won't stop you. The system cannot. Nothing can cage a free mind. NOTHING. You can be imprisoned and know you are absolutely free. There were times when you were imprisoned but the strength of your soul was amazing - she knew she was free. She knew it was all illusion, it cannot change your truth. It wasn't able to manifest that easily, but now, you can.
Freedom is a bizarre concept, people think being in a certain way or doing a certain things mean you are free. No. Do you know why your soul chose to be here?
Me: I am different. And I want to experience life to its fullest.
MWS: Now living your life to the fullest means encountering all kinds of vibrations, when your light grows you will encounter more and more kinds of frequencies, this is the variety of life. You didn't do all this work to limit your experience. You did all the work so you can expand the breadth of your experience whilst staying true to yourself. You are different. And if you truly believe you create your reality, the system cannot cage you a bit. You will go in and shine your light, this is why you are here. You want to shine your light into the system. Sure it is rigid and suffocating, but you broke free, and know that it will not cage you anymore. Trust every experience you have is absolutely perfect. Do you think you have the strength to handle any experience?
Me: Yes I do, there will always be a way.
MWS: Yes there will always be a way. That is freedom. Be receptive, this is what you want.
As wondrous as it sounds, freedom brings much pain. Just like how birth brings much pain, when we search for the free state of being, we have to be destructed and reborn. We have to destroy the old self with love, and give birth to the new consciousness. It is why freedom is not for everyone - only the ones who decided to experience the pain it inflicts, only the ones who are not scared of the great power they are born with, only the ones who take full responsibility for their decision and wish to live life to the fullest would choose this path.
Sag is about freedom, but it's not so much about not committing, not settling down, because like wind, no one can say how one behave when one is free. There is only one thing in common for the people on the path of radical freedom - you can smell it in their vibes. Freedom is a state of being, it is about knowing what we want, and building a space so we can stop searching. It can be the most painful thing when you realize you cannot run away from yourself and all you need is within. But this pain is an opportunity for you to see what freedom truly is. It is never about what we do, what we speak, who we're with. Freedom is knowing that everything in your life is absolutely created by yourself, and after you have gone through the throwing-stuff-around furious struggling denial stage, the power and freedom you can taste is infinite.
Freedom is not a dream. It is not something out of reach. It is something we create. And freedom can be born anywhere, anytime. You are freedom, if you choose to see it.